We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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