So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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