Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
