Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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