still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
