How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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