i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
