Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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