There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
