What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Randomize
