some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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