You don't have asthma, your pregnant
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
