Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
