Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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