I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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