So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
