It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He passed out mid-signature
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
