dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
