My hair reeks of homosexuality.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
