Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
