Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
