OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
