I wish I only lived at night.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
