Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
pray to the hookup gods
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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