All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
is that a dick in a sweater?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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