Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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