weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
