I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
