Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
