I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
