when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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