Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
