like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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