Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
