Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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