life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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