we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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