How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
