i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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