WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
