u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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