yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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