If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
