We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
