You're my little dorito
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
