like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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