When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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