I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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