DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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