gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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