I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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