I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
