But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
