I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
