We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize