Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize