There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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