Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
