if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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