I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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