remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
