She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Everything about him screamed your future.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
