I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
